“Don’t date a girl who reads”

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Love comes in all forms. – Francine

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Before you start throwing rocks at me, you should first find out what this is about! A few weeks ago, my best friend showed me this article:

Don’t date a girl who reads — Charles Warnke

You can go ahead and read it because I think it has a lot of good points. But I shall be discussing my thoughts on it too. And of course I’d love to know what others think. I can’t remember what the term for this type of article is. But it’s something like he’s telling you not to do it (date a girl who reads), but actually showing good points about it (the pros of dating a girl who reads). Does that make sense? Well, if you read the article, I think it just might. If you happen to know what the term is, please do share. I’m not sure if it’s irony or reverse psychology or whatever. Anyway, moving on.

I don’t think that everything about the article should be believed as true. People are all different after all. So I will only be talking about my side of the spectrum. And if it isn’t obvious enough, I’m a girl who reads. With a passion (I think). The article talks about how girls who read (I’m not limiting this to girls though) have a different understanding in life. They have a wide set of vocabulary that explains the ups and downs of life. People who read understand them and learn to accept them. They understand and embrace imperfections. They love stories and dream of their owns. Most of them will write about their relationship in full detail and maybe more. They see things differently. There’s so much to say about them. This may be you or this may not be you, but I think I can say that this is mostly me.

The reason that I decided to write about this was because the article hit a couple of buttons. About 8 months ago, my 20-month relationship ended with this guy who never seemed to understand me. Yes, I’m glad that’s over. We’re still friends though. Anyway, he would always tell me “I’m not like the guy in your books. And you can’t expect me to be.” And I was insulted. I never told him to be the guy in my books. All I asked was common decency. Let’s just say he wasn’t being so nice to me. It felt like a one-sided relationship at some points.

But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

I particularly like this line in the article. Because I did understand the end. I knew that things weren’t working out, and I shouldn’t fight for it anymore. I allowed the relationship to run its course. My ex-boyfriend, who regretted ending it, asked me why I allowed it. I simply told him that I knew when he gave up on me, and I din’t think it was mine to salvage but his. The thing is he didn’t care enough until I was gone. And I don’t really care about it much anymore. I learned a lot, but I found it so easy to be strong for myself. I found it so easy to let go that I was quite surprised about it myself. I don’t even feel much for him anymore whenever I talk to him post-breakup.

You, the girl who reads, …have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better…. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied.

I don’t particularly believe in true perfection. I think we make things perfect with our own perception on things. I dream of a lot of good things in life, but I also learn to embrace what I have and what is around me. Love can be really tricky, and it’s quite hard to tell whether a relationship would work out. But there’s nothing wrong with trying. Buy I must say this one thing.

I say, don’t date a person who doesn’t understand your need/desire to read. He/She doesn’t need to have the same passion as you do, but that person must learn to understand you or simply accept you for you and who you are (even if your passion is not reading). Find someone who won’t throw back your beliefs in your face, but would rather believe in you. No matter how crazy you can be.

P.S. This girl who reads is going to be dated later by a guy who reads. I’ve been on dates before, but I’ve never been formally ASKED on a date. I don’t meet a lot of gentlemen. 😛 Also, it helps that he has read a couple of books that I have. I’m quite nervous, but I hope it goes well. Wish me luck.

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6 thoughts on ““Don’t date a girl who reads”

  1. When I was in high school and college, I had impossible expectations for guys based on the books and TV shows that I watched. I wanted the totally crazy fairy tale. I am not blaming the books for this. I was just in a point in my life where that seemed like the be all end all. After college, things started to change. I became more grounded in what I wanted in a significant other and what I thought was important. I’m more able to separate what I read in books (especially the totally crazy fairy tale romance type books) with what I want in real life. I have noticed, unfortunately, that a by-product of this, for me, is that I don’t get the crazy fangirl feels with certain characters like I used to. 😦

    • That’s really interesting. Sometimes the lines between expectations and reality can be quite blurry. But I totally fangirl over characters because I don’t do that with real guys. Mostly. Hahaha!

  2. Guys who read are AWESOME! It makes life so much easier that you can actually talk about books with someone that you are really close with. Because books are important to me and I love love love love showing my book collection to people and I am pretty sure my boyfriend would understand that, because he loves books as well!

    I’m so excited for the date you’re going on. It makes ME nervous even hehe. Hope it works out fine for you :3

    I don’t see a reason why guys shouldn’t date girls who read, I’m okay with guys who DON’T read, just respect that I like reading and when they ask you: “What are you doing?” and you answer that you’re reading a book and they question why on earth I would read a book, well then they’re not worth it – partially. I don’t question them why they play video games either, right?

    • Yes. Awesome, but a rare breed. Hahaha! In my circles anyway. But they are definitely wonderful. You’re lucky your boyfriend loves books too. 😀

      Awww. You’re too sweet. It went well. Thank you. 😀 it was wonderful. He took me to the bookstore. CD

      Very good point right there. I think it requires understanding and acceptance.

  3. I think a girl who reads just needs a guy who reads 🙂

    Good luck on your date! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you 😀

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