My Summer Love #ReadCampBoyfriend Mini-Challenge

Camp Boyfriend

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Would you believe I was the one who came up with the challenge even though I didn’t even know if I had a story to tell? The read-a-long’s mini-challenge is simply to share any camp story or summer story. I had no idea what I would write about until I read Author Joanne Rock’s Guest Post and it sparked a distant memory. I totally recommend that people read that. It’s very short and wonderful.

I tell this story out of pure nostalgia. Maybe it was infatuation or maybe it was my first love. But the past is the past.

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“Don’t date a girl who reads”

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Love comes in all forms. – Francine

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Before you start throwing rocks at me, you should first find out what this is about! A few weeks ago, my best friend showed me this article:

Don’t date a girl who reads — Charles Warnke

You can go ahead and read it because I think it has a lot of good points. But I shall be discussing my thoughts on it too. And of course I’d love to know what others think. I can’t remember what the term for this type of article is. But it’s something like he’s telling you not to do it (date a girl who reads), but actually showing good points about it (the pros of dating a girl who reads). Does that make sense? Well, if you read the article, I think it just might. If you happen to know what the term is, please do share. I’m not sure if it’s irony or reverse psychology or whatever. Anyway, moving on.

I don’t think that everything about the article should be believed as true. People are all different after all. So I will only be talking about my side of the spectrum. And if it isn’t obvious enough, I’m a girl who reads. With a passion (I think). The article talks about how girls who read (I’m not limiting this to girls though) have a different understanding in life. They have a wide set of vocabulary that explains the ups and downs of life. People who read understand them and learn to accept them. They understand and embrace imperfections. They love stories and dream of their owns. Most of them will write about their relationship in full detail and maybe more. They see things differently. There’s so much to say about them. This may be you or this may not be you, but I think I can say that this is mostly me.

The reason that I decided to write about this was because the article hit a couple of buttons. About 8 months ago, my 20-month relationship ended with this guy who never seemed to understand me. Yes, I’m glad that’s over. We’re still friends though. Anyway, he would always tell me “I’m not like the guy in your books. And you can’t expect me to be.” And I was insulted. I never told him to be the guy in my books. All I asked was common decency. Let’s just say he wasn’t being so nice to me. It felt like a one-sided relationship at some points.

But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

I particularly like this line in the article. Because I did understand the end. I knew that things weren’t working out, and I shouldn’t fight for it anymore. I allowed the relationship to run its course. My ex-boyfriend, who regretted ending it, asked me why I allowed it. I simply told him that I knew when he gave up on me, and I din’t think it was mine to salvage but his. The thing is he didn’t care enough until I was gone. And I don’t really care about it much anymore. I learned a lot, but I found it so easy to be strong for myself. I found it so easy to let go that I was quite surprised about it myself. I don’t even feel much for him anymore whenever I talk to him post-breakup.

You, the girl who reads, …have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better…. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied.

I don’t particularly believe in true perfection. I think we make things perfect with our own perception on things. I dream of a lot of good things in life, but I also learn to embrace what I have and what is around me. Love can be really tricky, and it’s quite hard to tell whether a relationship would work out. But there’s nothing wrong with trying. Buy I must say this one thing.

I say, don’t date a person who doesn’t understand your need/desire to read. He/She doesn’t need to have the same passion as you do, but that person must learn to understand you or simply accept you for you and who you are (even if your passion is not reading). Find someone who won’t throw back your beliefs in your face, but would rather believe in you. No matter how crazy you can be.

P.S. This girl who reads is going to be dated later by a guy who reads. I’ve been on dates before, but I’ve never been formally ASKED on a date. I don’t meet a lot of gentlemen. 😛 Also, it helps that he has read a couple of books that I have. I’m quite nervous, but I hope it goes well. Wish me luck.

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Tragedy Turnout

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Love comes in all forms. – Francine

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Click on the banner to find more posts like this one~

Don’t you  just hate it when authors build you up just to bring you down? What can I say? I love happy ever afters. I need to know that I will get the perfect ending after each and every book. But it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s either the characters break up or one of them dies (I think we see more of this).

I’m not sure if anybody really knows what I’m talking about here, but I’m talking about those relationships that let us down. Let’s face it. We fall in love with characters and their relationships. We want them to end up together (or maybe you want the girl or guy to end up with you), but most often than not, we hope that they reach that happy place, especially after all kinds of trials, arguments, romantic moments, swoony moments, or whatever we may go through. It’s so easy to assume that the characters would have their happy ending. For books that talk about cancer, I think it’s easier to predict that they won’t end up together, but it’s still a slam in the face and you just want to cry NO NO NO NO NO! I think the harder ones to accept are the ones you don’t expect. I’ve seen myself flip through blank pages or acknowledgment pages wanting for more.

Recently, I was surprised to meet someone who actually liked tragic endings. He likes it when the hero doesn’t get the girl. I’m not really sure what the reason is behind this, but I didn’t know people like this even exist. But then again, there are those who crave tragedies or destruction. As for me, I love the happy endings. I will always take the happy endings. Even if the book ends in a cliche or if it’s predictable, I like me some happy endings.

But I have also learned to love a lot of books that have these tragic endings. I think these are the ones that hurt the most. It’s like the author has been feeding you with all these wonderful and sweet moments, and then rips it all away. I know it shows a lot about reality, but it doesn’t make it suck less. But then after contemplating (with attempts to destroy the book, which never happens), I start to understand. It still gives me a twinge of pain, but I manage. Maybe I can put them together again in my dreams. 😛

I can’t really give examples because that would spoil a lot of books. But if you want a list, feel free to send me a message. 😄

To anyone interested to answer, what do you think about those relationships where they give each other so much yet they don’t even end up in the end? Do you like it or dislike it? Do you crave it or are you afraid of these kinds of books? Do you know any good books that portrays this kind of relationship well? Tell me anything related to this topic. 🙂

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From BFFs to More

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Love comes in all forms. – Francine

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So last week, I talked about insta-love and how I’m into it. I also provided links for some other articles on the subject. I also received a lot of wonderful comments from both sides and I loved seeing everyone’s opinions on the matter. So today I have a topic that is on the opposite side of the spectrum. I want to talk about best friends that turn into lovers.

I’m pretty sure a lot of people like this trope because best friends are normally perfect for each other. Best friends know each other so well and possibly even more than anyone else. They spend so much time together and they always have each other’s backs. They’re like a match made in heaven, right?

Well, I dislike this kind of relationship. Actually, I’m more open to it now that I’ve read a couple of books, but my gut reaction had always been to be skeptical about it. I think the reason for this is mostly because of the environment I grew up in and the relationships I’ve had. I’ve spent twenty years of my life growing alongside three brothers. I don’t have sisters. And for some part of my life, I gained three guy best friends. Two of them were from high school and the other one was from university. I got really close with these three guys, and there may or may haven’t been chemistry. At one point, they all started liking me, and it just felt really weird for me because they’re all like brothers to me. And I have brothers and I’m not into incestuous behavior. I know they’re not blood relatives, but it still feels like that to me. Needless to say, any attempt on romantic relationships with them didn’t really work out.

I guess I have my own reservations about this, but I have found a couple of books that I did like despite this trope. And there are also ones that I didn’t like. I’m not really sure when it’s okay or when it isn’t. Like most books, it all depends on the writing and the situations presented. It also depends on the characters and how they are with each other. I think I like it most when it’s just them and there is no one else. Does that make sense? It’s like there are a lot of fish in the sea, but they never really strayed away from each other. Yes, they also had reservations about the relationship, but the attraction was undeniable.

Here are some books that I liked with bestfriends-to-lovers relationships: (each image is linked to their Goodreads page)

Click to Subscribe Conjure Always and Forever Noughts & Crosses

To anyone interested to answer, what do you think about those relationships where they start out as best friends? Do you like it or dislike it? Do you know any good books that portrays this kind of relationship well? Do you have real-life stories where this happened? Tell me anything related to this topic. 🙂

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Into Insta-love

mm-fall-for-february

Love comes in all forms. – Francine

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So for the next few weeks, I will be talking about common romance themes in books. I’m not sure if I’ll continue this after the month so anything can happen. Today’s topic is insta-love. I think some bloggers will be tackling this subject in the last weeks of February. I forgot where I saw it. But I’ve been meaning to write about this since last year.

Please note that this merely consists of my thoughts regarding the matter, and I am open to everyone’s opinion.

I didn’t really know the concept of insta-love until I became active in the book blogosphere. I must admit that until now I barely know what it means. Needless to say, I have nothing against it, and I even fall in love with books with insta-love. I mostly find out that it is considered insta-love when I read another review that points it out.

As I understand it, insta-love is a kind of relationship development when a the two characters instantly know that they want to be together in a day/week/etc. And I honestly don’t know what is wrong with that. Yes, it is true that they barely know each other, but it doesn’t mean they can’t do so. I think what’s important is the connection between the characters, and how an author is able to convince its readers. I’m a big fan of romance, and I believe anything can happen. I don’t think the time is important, but rather how it is felt.

Author Veronica Roth talks about how it is the author’s responsibility to make the relationship feel real, but she also points out that we shouldn’t easily discount what one first felt in a relationship. I think that she asked really good questions and made a couple of good points so it might be nice to read the article. I also found another interesting read from Breaking the Binding. She admits that she hates insta-love in books, but she admits that it actually happens with teens. She says that insta-love has some grounds in reality, but it doesn’t mean one has to like it. I would lastly like to share Nitzan’s post at Drugs Called Books entitled Forgiving Insta-love. She posted this one in 2013 and I was already following her blog at the time, and I particularly liked this one. What’s so special about it is that Nitzan talks about her friend’s true love story. It was insta-love. In fact the story feels a little like something one could find in a book. But it’s all real! Out of all the links, I recommend to read Nitzan’s. I’m sure there are a lot more posts about insta-love. The internet has it all.

I am in no position to say what anyone should believe. But I believe that love can take any form. I would lastly like to share my own experience if no one would mind. If you do, then go ahead and skip to the comment section and sound off what you feel about the matter. Continuing my story, I met this guy a few days ago. He was my best friend’s high school classmate. It wasn’t love at first sight nor was it about appearances. It was more about what happened that day I met him. And I honestly could not stop thinking about him. I have only spent about 9 hours with him, and I didn’t even interact with him for the first 2 or 3 hours because I’m an introvert like that. My best friend’s advice is to just go for it and confess my feelings for him. We’re all Japanese anime lovers so he suggested I do it like the girls do in an anime with a letter. So I will share what I’ve written so far. I might still change it up. You can offer advice about it too, and tell me if I’m being crazy. I would greatly appreciate it. Also, I hope he doesn’t find and read this post until I tell him. Lol. Also the ones in parentheses are not part of the actual letter.

  • I don’t really know what you know about me, but I liked how you opened a conversation with the mention of a book (He asked me about An Abundance of Katherines by John Green). I don’t find a lot of people who do that. In fact, I’ve never met a person in real life who would talk books with me. (I’m sure a couple of bookworms would agree. Instant swoon. :P) I like how you called me by my full first name (Francine Soleil). It reminds me of The Fault in Our Stars (which he read) and how Augustus’ endearingly calls her Hazel Grace. I admire your fascination with the aesthetics of beautiful words. I relate to your fondness for paper, and I like how you repurpose some into a thing of beauty (he makes origami).
  • I thank you kindly for your patience and for holding my hand throughout the whole ordeal of teaching me how to iceskate. I went into that rink thinking that I’d be a failure, but you showed me that I had more in me than I care to believe. I like how you cared about my little emergency on the car ride home. That just about melted my heart. I find you kind and charming.
  • “I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.” (John  Green, The Fault in Our Stars) I must confess that I’m afraid of telling you this, but I once read that it’s okay to do it afraid. The unexpectedness of life shouldn’t reign us. I don’t meet a lot of people like you and I dare not pass off the chance. You don’t know much about me, and I can’t promise you’d like what you’ll find, but would you like to give it a chance? I’d really like to know you more.

Am I a little too sappy? 😄

To anyone interested to answer, what is insta-love all about? Do you hate insta-love? Do you like insta-love? What makes you like or hate it? Or simply just tell me whatever you think or feel about insta-love.

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